DELHI VERSUS MUMBAI. WHO WINS….

Here’s a thought. If you really want a fair contest then change Delhi’s name to say Aryanagri or even better to Punjarbanjatilsthan (in deference to the Punjabis, Gujjars, Jats and Banias living here). New Delhi sounds too sophisticated like say New York, especially when Mumbai, Kolkatta, Chennai are dripping with nativity, son of the soil flavor. That should restore the balance and I am not trying to be funny.

As it is the divide between Mumbai and Delhi is so deep ever since that moment in history when Shobha De, who as we all know can look into the future, declared at the ramparts of Red Fort, sorry Marine Drive , that Delhi was no better than some forgotten, social backwaters, frequented by people who would lisp when speaking angrezi. What of course she forgot to mention then in that brilliant moment of visionary enlightenment was that the roads in Mumbai then, now and in the future have been specially designed and laid out to shift your spine by a few degrees either side. But have no fear. The real debate, as it has always been, is between the ‘peoples’ of Mumbai and Delhi.

Good roads, flyovers and a metro service are irrelevant talking points because the real issue are the peepuls sorry the ‘people’ of the two cities and no prizes for guessing that Mumbai wins hands down on that score. So while the crude Delhiite makes a ‘maabahen’ of everything the sophisticated Mumbaikar only wishes to check your ID to see whether you are a migrant.

But we are really skipping the point. Take the case of the irrepressible Indian who when in New York wins the award for the best self effacing, well behaved and polite migrant import to the United States and then the same man back to mera desh ki dharti on a short visit hails a taxi at Indira Gandhi International airport, peels a banana and throws the skin on the road as the taxi speeds away.

Then point I am making is, is there really a species like a Delhiite or a Mumbaikar? Or are we wearing masks which we take off at the time and place of our choosing?

Or could it be that if everyone on the street is walking in white shirt and blue jeans we do the same because who wants to be pointed out? So is it free will or enforcement that makes a better citizen? You decide.